You do good work. You know it, but no one seems to be watching. No one seems to care. No one acknowledges. Does that make you feel bad? Or maybe its worst…you don’t think you do good work. No? really? It’s time to make the shift.
So let me tell you something I help my clients understand: you’ve got to become your own cheerleader.
What Does That Even Mean?
No pom-poms. No stadium lights. No perfectly timed motivational soundtrack (though hey, if music helps, go for it).
Being your own cheerleader is about deciding to support yourself the way you’ve always wanted others to support you.
It means:
Giving yourself credit when no one else is watching
Picking yourself up when your inner critic is throwing dark punches at you.
Saying “you’ve got this” even when you’re not totally sure you do
It’s choosing to stand on your own side, especially when things feel wobbly.
Why Does It Matters?
Because let’s be honest—cheering squads are great, but they’re not always there when you need them the most. Life gets quiet. Feedback dries up. You’re left wondering, am I even on the right track? Lack of appreciation and negative self-talk leads to low self esteem, low confidence. We don’t need that. We are confident, powerful, forward moving people. We do not need others to validate us, we do not need outside acknowledgement.
When you learn how to validate yourself, to notice your own progress, to speak to yourself like someone who believes in you… that’s when things start to shift. That’s when motivation gets deeper. You are stable, centered, confident. Not dependent on whether the outside world is clapping for you.
How to get there?
This may feel awkard at first but try it, it works:
- Catch the critic, pause the chatter
Notice when your inner critic shows up.
Don’t fight it—just pause. Take a breath. Awareness is the first win. - Speak to yourself like you would to a friend
If your best friend messed up or felt unsure, what would you say?
Say that to yourself. Out loud if you can. (Yes, it feels weird. Do it anyway.) - Celebrate your wins (yeah! even that Tiny One)
At the end of each day, ask: What did I do well today?
It could be answering that tough email, getting through a hard moment, or just showing up. Write it down if you can.
Tiny wins build trust. - Start a cheerleader Journal
One sentence a day. That’s it.
Something like: “I handled that conversation better than I thought I would.” Or “I’m proud I kept going.”
Let it become your growing collection of self-support. - Practice mirror talk
Look yourself in the eye. Say one kind thing.
Even a simple “I’m trying, and that matters.”
The first few times might feel awkward. That’s okay. Keep going. - Reframe the nagging
Instead of “I failed,” try “I learned.”
Instead of “I can’t,” try “I’m figuring it out.”
You’re not lying to yourself—you’re shifting the lens. - Celebrate without a reason (my favourite!!)
Don’t wait for a milestone. Put on the music. Dance in the kitchen.
Wear your favorite outfit just because. You’re worth celebrating as you are.
Want to try something now? Try this:
Where in my life do I most need a cheerleader right now?
What is one kind thing I can say to myself today to stand on my own side?
Take a few quiet moments. Write it down. Let it be real, even if it feels small.
You can achieve whatever you want 